Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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