ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize