Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The uberlube is also flammable
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
