id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
