WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
