whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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