I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
