I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
