i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
sex in a hospital.. check
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