she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
