As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
