So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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