I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Pooping to opera.
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