Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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