so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
