then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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