I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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