I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
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And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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