Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
