They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
