I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
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don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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