you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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