ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
