The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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