Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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