i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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