Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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