i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
worst night to have a conscience
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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