I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize