dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
