you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
