Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
