i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
