My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
