theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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