You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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