Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
