I wish they made helmets for livers.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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