I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
