She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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