thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
