I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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