DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
