wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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