hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my being single is dangerous.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
