Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i believe in u and ur pee
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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