Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I need water and some morals
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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