Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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