Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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