I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need a beard to bite.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
