His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
