i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
