In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
