and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
