I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
