come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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