sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
