I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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