Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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