he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
